Dear Margot: How do I come out as bisexual?

Dear Margot, “I’m bi and haven’t told anyone yet because I’m scared of what my friends will think. How do I come out?”

Dealing with the fear of being open and vulnerable with the people close to you is something extremely difficult to deal with. Opening up to those people and potentially risking the way they view you as a person is something incredibly fearful, but there are a few different ways we can open up to those people and make it a less fearful experience for you.

A good recommendation is picking maybe one or two people that you feel the closest to and that you feel comfortable enough opening up that side of you. A good friend would make you feel accepted for who you are and love you regardless of your sexuality. If for some reason your friends happen to view you differently over you being bisexual, they are not deserving friends of you and there will be better friends along the way that will love and support you for who you are. 

Another suggestion would be to maybe find communities online or in person that also share similar struggles that can give you a sense of acceptance. If opening up to people you aren’t familiar with is easier for you, maybe telling someone there first and then asking for advice on how to open up to your friends could be a less fearful option. Hearing different perspectives on your situation could help you decide on how and who you would like to open up to. 

Now, figuring out how to work it to those close people can also be another challenge. There are a few different ways you could word it. For example if you are more of a blunt person, maybe pulling some of your friends aside and saying, “Hey, can I tell you something important about me?” and then stating that your bisexual might be easier for you. Or, if you are too nervous to be blunt like that you could simply state your feelings and how you just want to be open about that part of yourself. Either way, you are getting your feelings and truth out to your friends and that is the only part you can control.

Lastly, the part that is probably causing you the most fear is how they will react to the news. Unfortunately, we cannot control how our friends or other people will react to you being bisexual. But, if they are truly your friends and love you for who you are, then they will accept you for who you are. If for some reason, your friends don’t give you that reassurance of your feelings, then it might be best to find new friends that will love you regardless of your sexuality. 

You deserve to have friends that will not change their views on you because you are bisexual. Being able to open up to those close people will help relieve that fear you may be feeling regardless if the outcome goes your way or not. I wish you the best of luck and to remember that there are people who will accept you for who you are!

Image Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.