Dear Margot: Should I Stay with My Boyfriend?

Dear Margot: “I am having issues with my bf bc he’s been getting on my nerves and barely doing the bare minimum. Should I stay with him?”

Dear reader, I understand that relationships can be difficult and do not always go how we want them to. What I think you should do is communicate with him. Talk to him about how these issues affect you, and find a solution you both agree with. If he isn't cooperating and decides to continue this unsatisfactory behavior, it's time to go your own separate ways. If you're not content with your partner, or discontented in general, it will affect your life in many different ways. It is best to focus on your priorities like academics, family, your dreams, or your goals. 

Assuming you have a digital way of communicating with him, I recommend a one-on-one, face-to-face conversation. When addressing these serious topics in person, you can read his expressions to see whether he's lying, guilty, angry, not serious, or unbothered. Fuuthermore, texting about it won't allow you to fully express your tone and feelings. Typing out your thoughts won't show your intention or your expression.

  What if he isn't cooperating? He's ignoring the problem? It's time to cut him off. It's a difficult thing to say and to do, as many people—including myself—understand. However, if you are not happy, you cannot make someone else happy. Not every problem has a solution, but in this scenario, you can choose to escape from it. Choose the right path for yourself and commit to it.

Finally, say you decided to stay, believing the foolish delusions everyone believes: “I can fix it.” At first, you'd think things are going better, but he's still not treating you well or how you desire to be treated. Stop focusing on fixing a problem that doesn't want to be solved. In return for working so hard to bring back the days when you two were perfect, you'll suffer deeply from mental health that will affect you physically, academically, and socially. It is best if you cut off loose ends and start fresh. You can either focus on yourself and rebuild your own path or find someone who makes you feel better—whether that is a friend, a family member, or a new partner—as long as they bring you happiness. At the end of the day, the person who knows you best and will be there for you is no other than yourself.

Image Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.