Dear Margot,
I am writing to you because I’m frustrated about a situation in my life that is happening to me right now. I have been dating my boyfriend for quite some time now and because of quarantine we barely get to see each other. It makes me really sad because we only get to see each other around once every two months. It really upsets me because if we were still in school, we would see each other more often. Most of the time, we are both pretty busy with school and our own lives but we still try to make the most of what we do have.
That’s why I am devastated most of the time I think about it. The thing is, I’m barely even allowed to see him and it’s not even because my parents are scared of COVID-19. My parents let me hang out with my friends whenever I want but it’s different with him. It’s like they don’t even trust me and I hate it. It honestly makes me so sad and frustrated because I have never done anything for them not to trust me. I’ve tried talking to them about it but it seems like I can never get through to them. They treat me like a baby and I’m already 18. I know I’m not the only one who relates to this. It feels like they don’t want me to be happy. What do you think I should do?
Sincerely,
Untrusted Daughter
Dear Untrusted Daughter,
I understand your frustration and I agree that you certainly are not the only one who is going through the same thing. I went through the same thing when I was with my last significant other and it can take a toll on you. It really does cause pain when you feel like the ones you love don’t trust you. I would get really frustrated and cry because no matter what I did or what I said, it was never enough for them. It wasn’t until I actually sat them down and made them listen that they told me they did trust me but they had their concerns. They were just trying to protect me from things that I wasn’t in control of.
I know we don’t have the same parents and everyone is different but I suggest that you try having a serious conversation with them. If you want to be viewed as an adult, try having an adult conversation with them. I understand that it seems impossible trying to talk to them but try to make them realize that the only way for both parties to agree with each other is to communicate with one another. Tell them how you feel and explain to them your frustrations. Help them understand. You’re 18 years old, so let them know that you will be a responsible adult. Maybe then they might give you the chance and freedom you deserve. I hope everything goes well!
Sincerely,
Margot